While experts do not always agree about the best way to lose fat, most agree a calorie deficit is involved. While some diets may not explicitly require you to count calories, most still put you in a deficit for an extended period. This is with good reason. Absent certain medical conditions, most people can lose fat in a caloric deficit. However, for many mothers, the weight loss is temporary. Some or all of the weight returns as soon as we loosen the diet rules. If calorie deficits are so effective, why does this happen, and how can we create them without adding stress?
What is a calorie deficit?
A calorie deficit is when our bodies use more energy than we consume. We are in a deficit when we burn more calories than we eat. Although it sounds simple, calorie deficits can be hard to sustain long enough to meet fat loss goals. Furthermore, when the deficit stops, the weight often returns. Thankfully, deficits can be manageable if we are willing to put in the time to meet and sustain our goals. The time will pass either way. We can spend it working towards something that can last or continue the same dieting cycle that ends in frustration every time.
Why is slow weight loss more sustainable?
Lots of diets can be effective. However, if these results lasted, we would only diet once. For many mothers, dieting has been a long-time companion, for better or worse. Most of these diets are time-consuming and sometimes require extreme life changes. Going out to eat is suddenly a challenge instead of a pleasure. Deciding about desserts for a birthday party brings about obsession or guilt. Food goes from being a source of nourishment and connection to a source of stress. This is not a sustainable way for a social human to live, which is why diets fail.
An overemphasis on what, when, and how we are not allowed to eat creates a negative filter through which we view our food decisions. An alternative is to focus on what we can eat, bring in new foods, and make space for favorites so we don’t feel deprived. When we and our bodies, instead of a diet book or group, decide on the expectations, changes, and tools, shifting how we eat can be empowering and exciting. When we choose the best methods for us, we form habits we can sustain indefinitely. What does this look like in practice?
Shift your mindset.
When we think diet, we think temporary. Many diets have an official reintroduction or maintenance phase, which involves loosening some diet rules. We are meant to live with these modified rules forever to maintain results. Instead of agreeing to a list of pseudo-temporary changes, think about long-term adjustments you could realistically make and keep. Viewing this journey as micro changes that add up over time versus big changes not meant to last can help us set more realistic and sustainable expectations.
Don’t fall for the excitement of new diet trends.
Many moms are familiar with the adrenaline rush of thinking, “This is it! this is the one that will work.” We go through the exciting prep. We rush to the grocery store to buy all the new foods. We think it is different this time. We tell friends and family because a public declaration helps us stay the course. We fantasize about how life will be once we reach the other side. Although it is tempting to try one more, remember the feelings and sensations you experience when, ultimately, the diet fails. Imagine a different journey this time, where you choose where to go and how to get there.
Brainstorm a list of changes you could feasibly make.
The list does not have to make sense. Some of the ideas seem silly or impossible. You may never attempt some of the items. Somewhere on the list are a handful of small moves that can elicit significant changes. Even ideas that seem impractical may evolve into useful ones. Take an honest look at the list. Avoid starting with items that require massive changes or fill you with dread. Choose one micro change that seems doable and sustainable. Try it. If it works for you, keep at it until you don’t have to think about it anymore. This is a sign it has become a habit. Continue it and add a new micro change from the list. Repeat. Most people only need to make a few lasting changes to see results.
Focus on introducing and prioritizing new foods over eliminating others.
No matter how good the cause, it never feels good to have, or even think about, things we like being taken away. Do you love ice cream? Chips? Dark chocolate? Make space for them. It is much easier to remove or replace foods you care less about. Where can you make space to eat a small dessert at night? A healthier bread? Soda water instead of soda? Chickpea instead of white pasta? Ask yourself what is essential and what is not. Think about where you can reduce processed food in ways that won’t cause stress.
Prioritize nutrient-dense foods whenever possible.
Calorie deficits can cause unpleasant physical and emotional symptoms. Our bodies do not like it when they are not getting what they need. Dieting often results in mood swings, poor sleep, GI upset, and skin reactions. A way to avoid these is to ensure your nutritional needs are met by prioritizing foods rich in vitamins, minerals, proteins, or healthy fats. Not only can this prevent physical discomfort, but it also helps you feel full for longer. Satiety reduces food cravings and makes overeating less likely.
Experiment with servings and slowing down.
You may have heard it takes our brains at least twenty minutes to know whether we are satisfied. This bit of information is everywhere because it is true. A simple way to reduce caloric intake is to take a smaller portion than typical, wait 20 minutes after eating, and see how you feel. Start by slightly reducing portions and reduce further if and when it makes sense for your goals. If the goal is a deficit, a helpful stopping point would be the level of satiety (fullness) that makes you say, “I could eat more, but I don’t need to.” Remember, if you are still hungry, you can always get more. Learning to feel satisfied but not stuffed is highly beneficial when reducing calories. This feeling is much easier to achieve when eating unprocessed or minimally processed foods, as they help us feel satisfied without overeating.
Exercise is highly recommended.
Dietary changes alone can achieve a deficit. Exercise, however, not only helps increase the deficit but also provides an outlet for stress management, increasing the likelihood of success. Exercise does not have to be overly time-consuming, complicated, or even require a trip to the gym. Like dietary changes, have an honest conversation with yourself regarding what changes are realistic and sustainable over time. Like with food, small changes add up and beget more significant changes with more significant impacts.
Know when to get help.
Years of dieting can wreak havoc on our bodies. It can also negatively impact our emotional health and self-esteem and lead to disordered eating, depression, and anxiety. At Mom Over Matter LLC, we are proud to offer support for mothers struggling with their mental health while trying to change habits or lose weight. Health coaching is available for mothers looking for new tools and strategies, accountability, or exercise plans. Coaching is also available to mothers whose mental health has been impacted by diet culture but still want to change their habits for the better. Mothers who want to focus more on a deep exploration of their relationship with food or their bodies may benefit from mental health counseling.
For more in-depth information on these topics, please download my free nutrition guide here!
