It is not unusual for women to come to therapy without a complete understanding of why they are there. We know something is wrong but can’t quite pinpoint the source. We sometimes get extremely upset in situations that may not warrant such big reactions. We may lash out, isolate, and experience bouts of extreme anger, intense anxiety, or deep sadness that seem to come from nowhere. Anxiety and crying spells become a regular presence in our lives. Eventually, a meaningful relationship is affected, bringing us to our first therapy appointment. If you’re a mother, this is often when you realize your suffering is impacting your parenting and your family.
While many are familiar with the concept of a flashback as a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), the emotional flashback is a unique phenomenon, differing from the traditional definition in key ways. While a flashback is tied to a specific and explicit event or memory, emotional flashbacks feel random. Even though a stimulus in our environment triggers them, we don’t have a conscious memory associated with the experience. Instead, we are flooded with intense and sometimes intolerable sensations and emotions. The conscious memories of the past may be gone or spotty, but the feelings associated with them still live in our bodies. These episodes can be brief or prolonged for days or weeks. When we cannot identify the source because it is locked in the past, we might blame the present. This can cause dysfunction in our lives and relationships. Here are some signs you may be suffering from emotional flashbacks:
- You wake up in an emotional or distressed state before the day has even started.
- You “go from zero to one hundred” very quickly. One moment, you feel fine; the next, you are flooded with anger, sadness, shame, or fear.
- You spend time dissociating, meaning you enter a state that causes you to disengage from yourself, others, or the world. Dissociation can feel like intense, prolonged periods of daydreaming. It can also be excessive scrolling on devices, binge-watching television shows, distracting yourself with random tasks that are not moving you forward in life, substance misuse, disordered eating, or excessive spending.
- Your memories, especially from your earlier years, are spotty or non-existent. While it is certainly expected and normal not to retain all your memories from childhood, those who suffer from emotional flashbacks often find there is more “missing” than is typical.
- You feel disconnected from your body or suffer from somatic complaints with no clear explanation or cause.
While flashbacks are associated with PTSD, emotional flashbacks are a hallmark of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD). CPTSD is not yet in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), which is why clients and providers alike are largely unfamiliar with the diagnosis, how to recognize it, and how to support clients suffering from it. CPTSD exists on a spectrum. Even absent a formal diagnosis, anyone who has undergone prolonged periods of stress, especially during critical developmental years, may experience symptoms.
At Mom Over Matter LLC, we are proud to support mothers struggling with signs of trauma and chronic stress. Even though these symptoms can be incapacitating and cause us to feel hopeless, there are treatments and therapies available that can increase insight, reduce symptoms, and help us engage more authentically and fully with the world around us. A combination of education, cognitive and somatic therapies, and relational support can be very effective.
Help is available. If you want to learn more, please book your free consultation here.
