At Mom Over Matter LLC, we want to provide the most effective resources for your healing. We understand that growth requires exploring all facets of self: bodily experiences, sensory input, thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and behavior. By combining EMDR with IFS and other somatic work, we explore the building blocks of your experience to ease distress across all areas. While traditional talk therapy relies heavily on analyzing thoughts, labeling feelings, and containing emotions, IFS-informed EMDR provides a safe environment for clients to fully engage with their experiences, with self-compassion instead of judgment and control.
What is EMDR?
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy) is a complete psychotherapy that significantly reduces symptoms of mental health disorders. It is considered a somatic therapy, as it engages the nervous system to release both the physical and emotional symptoms of distress. Although EMDR was initially developed and researched for those diagnosed with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), it has evolved. EMDR can be utilized to diminish any psychological distress, from anxiety, panic, depression, phobias, OCD, and eating disorders, as well as everyday challenges, such as performance anxiety, and even performance enhancement. It can also reinforce existing coping skills and resources, making it easier for clients to access the tools they need in a moment of distress. To date, over 30 controlled studies show positive outcomes from EMDR therapy, including faster symptom relief and greater effectiveness than other therapeutic modalities.
Eye movements refer to a form of bilateral stimulation (BLS), or stimulation that involves both hemispheres of the brain simultaneously. Although initially developed with visual stimulation, EMDR clients can now choose what type of BLS they prefer: visual, auditory, tactile, or any combination of the three. Due to this flexibility, EMDR can be delivered effectively via telehealth.
Benefits of adding BLS to therapeutic work:
- BLS mimics REM sleep, activating both hemispheres of the brain and supporting the processing of memories and experiences.
- BLS improves communication between the two hemispheres of the brain, enabling the integration of experiences and healing. Some clients experience this phenomenon during sessions as an inner dialogue between different parts of their personality.
- BLS helps to soothe the nervous system, which allows clients to avoid feeling overwhelmed during processing.
- BLS creates dual awareness, allowing the clients to keep one foot in the past and one foot in the present. This facilitates processing the past while feeling safe and grounded in the present.
Desensitization and Reprocessing is the phase of treatment for which EMDR is best known: neutralizing and processing memories associated with symptoms. Through direct questioning and mindfulness-based somatic exercises, the therapist guides clients through selecting memories that contribute to or exacerbate distress.
When we have an experience, the memory is stored in the brain, or “processed.” Under ideal circumstances, this happens much as we metabolize food. Our bodies take in the nutrients we need and discard what is not useful. Memory works similarly: when we have an experience, our brain ideally stores useful, adaptive information and discards the rest. However, several factors can disrupt this process, leading to improper memory storage and distressing symptoms:
- The experiences elicited feelings of terror, danger, and powerlessness, overwhelming the nervous system and disrupting memory processing.
- The experiences occurred so frequently that the nervous system could not process each incident before the next one happened.
- The experiences happened when we were too young to correctly evaluate and understand the situation, leading us to internalize the event as related to our own defectiveness, responsibility, or inability to control it.
- The experiences occurred during key developmental stages, disrupting critical developmental tasks and skills, particularly attachment styles, emotion regulation, and communication.
- The experiences triggered our survival responses to fight or flee, but we were unable to do so. When we cannot complete our survival responses, the experiences get “stuck” in the nervous system and need help moving through processing and storage.
What happens during EMDR?
EMDR is highly structured to ensure effectiveness and client safety. However, the client’s needs and preferences are always honored. Different therapeutic modalities, such as Internal Family Systems therapy and attachment or reparenting tools, may be interwoven with EMDR as appropriate. Although the therapy can be modified for client needs and various diagnoses, the basic structure typically looks like this:
- The therapist will meet with the client to complete an initial assessment and likely spend a few subsequent sessions getting to know the client well. The client’s comfort with the therapist in a safe relationship, as well as a strong therapeutic alliance, is essential for successful EMDR treatment.
- The client and therapist will work together to create a treatment plan. This involves selecting memories for reprocessing, exploring present triggers and exacerbators of symptoms, and clarifying the client’s future goals.
- The client and therapist will practice a series of coping and grounding tools for use during, between, or after sessions.
- The client and therapist will determine the client’s preferred method of bilateral stimulation.
- Once the treatment plan and preparation are complete, the therapist and client will choose the first target memory and begin the desensitization phase, or reprocessing. This involves the therapist giving specific prompts to “open” the memory network, providing bilateral stimulation, and guidance and support during the session. This phase continues until the client can revisit the memory without feeling significant distress.
- Following desensitization is the installation During this phase, BLS is used to create a neutral or even positive association with the target memory. By doing so, clients experience little to no distress when the trigger occurs. Beliefs such as I am not enough become I am ok the way I am. Memories that once brought fear and helplessness can become a source of empowerment and agency.
- Talk therapy sessions can be interspersed between processing sessions as needed, or per client request. These sessions focus on post-traumatic growth and integration of new insights and behaviors gained from EMDR.
IFS informed EMDR
Internal Family Systems and EMDR are both somatic exposure therapies that can be used alone or in combination to bring symptom relief, increase insight and self-awareness, and heal from trauma. Although we separate these modalities on paper, in practice, they flow together naturally. Clients who come for EMDR find their parts present themselves at some point during the process. Clients who come for IFS find they have parts carrying memories, experiences, and feelings that feel misaligned with who they are. IFS informed EMDR practitioners have the unique ability to provide intervention and support to the client’s parts, no matter when and how they present. Interventions may include:
- Observing and facilitating dialogue between polarized parts.
- Giving parts space to share specific memories, which are often appropriate targets for EMDR.
- Supporting parts as they work through concerns and fears.
- Welcoming parts to provide helpful historical information or context.
- Working with parts that want to block EMDR processing to protect the client from distress.
- Engaging functional parts as allies to support the client as they integrate new insights and behaviors into their lives.
- Helping parts let go of protective behaviors that no longer serve the client.
IFS-informed EMDR Benefits for Mothers
Mothers may find these modalities especially helpful due to the carryover effects on their parenting, children, and families. These include:
- Better understanding your attachment style and how it shows up in your relationship with your kids.
- Improved emotion regulation so you can be present with your family (and yourself).
- An enhanced sense of self-worth that can help you show up for your kids at your best and model healthy self-esteem.
- Clarity and insight into your past and how it influences you as a parent.
- Modeling positive self-care by showing your children that it’s OK to face challenges, ask for help, admit shortcomings, and grow.
- Increased capacity to handle stress and less propensity towards emotional overwhelm.
Frequently Asked Questions
A: Fear of revisiting the past is one of the most common concerns before beginning EMDR. While EMDR will be uncomfortable or upsetting at times, re-experiencing unprocessed material is a necessary part of the healing process for both the body and mind. Your clinician will help you stay within your window of tolerance by establishing specific parameters and safeguards tailored to your needs. These options will be discussed in detail during the treatment planning and preparation phases.
A: Due to the nature of aging, memory, and psychological defense mechanisms, it is common for clients to enter therapy feeling they cannot access specific memories. However, it is helpful to expand the definition of what constitutes a memory. While we often perceive memory as a mental movie of past events, there are several other components stored in the brain and nervous system that can be targeted and desensitized. These include triggers, sensory information, thoughts, beliefs, emotional experiences, and somatic or bodily sensations. Through targeted exercises and by using accessible information as an entry point, clients and clinicians can typically identify enough elements of an experience to make processing beneficial.
A: EMDR is an effective treatment for a wide range of psychological distress symptoms. Even those that feel deeply ingrained or without a clear origin are often tied to past experiences that shaped present emotional patterns. Trauma frequently manifests through various symptoms, such as excessive worry, panic attacks, depressive episodes, anger, self-sabotage, low self-worth, people-pleasing, and perfectionism. EMDR has the unique ability to target and reduce these symptoms, regardless of an associated diagnosis.
A: Prolonged and imaginal exposure therapies are established, evidence-based treatments often used to address phobias, PTSD, and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. However, EMDR is unique from these approaches in several key ways. First, EMDR targets the root cause of symptoms. While traditional exposure therapies attempt to reduce distress by repeatedly exposing a client to a trigger—gradually desensitizing the nervous system—they do not always resolve the underlying past experiences. This can leave clients at risk of symptoms resurfacing in different contexts. In contrast, EMDR utilizes “channels of association,” allowing related memories to surface naturally and be reprocessed. By neutralizing these associated experiences alongside the primary target, EMDR provides greater global relief than traditional exposure therapy. In addition, the dual awareness and soothing properties of bilateral stimulation both enhance effectiveness and reduce distress during sessions.
A: While every client is unique, research provides guidance regarding when to expect relief to begin. Studies show that simpler cases, such as single-event traumas, often see significant symptom reduction within 3 to 12 desensitization sessions. More complex cases involving childhood trauma or repeated traumas in adulthood typically require more time. Research indicates that these clients generally experience symptom relief between 12 and 24 sessions, or longer.
A: It is very common for the brain to continue processing between EMDR sessions naturally. While this looks different for each individual, common experiences include thinking about the material more frequently, gaining new insights, or feeling a need to process independently through journaling, meditation, or talking to loved ones. Some clients experience mild to moderate emotional dysregulation between sessions, which can typically be managed using the grounding tools provided by your clinician. It is also not unusual to experience increased dream activity related to the material being processed.
Immediately following EMDR reprocessing sessions, clients are encouraged to avoid scheduling significant commitments or meetings until they understand how they respond to the therapy. This ensures they maintain the necessary stability to function adequately between sessions.
A: EMDR relies on our brain’s natural healing abilities. Much like our bodies know how to heal when we are wounded, our minds and nervous systems possess similar capabilities. Every person’s processing style is unique, which shapes their individual experience of EMDR. Some clients process primarily through thoughts and experience internal dialogue during sessions. Others process visually, seeing flashes of images with corresponding emotions. Some are more somatic, processing through bodily sensations that require release. Most clients experience a combination of these elements as their nervous systems begin to release trauma.
A: Following EMDR, clients often shift their focus toward post-traumatic growth and integrating new insights, beliefs, and behaviors into their daily lives. This transition can range from internal shifts, such as developing a more compassionate inner dialogue, to making substantial life changes. In some cases, this growth involves managing relationships in new ways as families, friends, and colleagues adapt to these positive developments. While these changes are beneficial, clients often find continued support helpful as they transition into a more healed version of themselves.
We are Here to Help
We welcome the opportunity to support you on your healing journey. Please book your free consultation with Melissa.